


Adam Hayes's Boyfriend Is Not A Cat

by FanaticDomainExpert



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast)
Genre: Adam Hayes And Caleb Michael Live Together Like The Domestic Couple They Are, Alternate Universe - Magic, Am I Doing Tags Right, Did You Know That Caleb Can't Cook, Fluff and Crack, I Don't Even Know, It Drives Adam Crazy, It's A Football Thing, M/M, They're Both Lil Shits, They're basically an old married couple, maybe?? - Freeform, shapeshifting?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-01 04:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12148512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanaticDomainExpert/pseuds/FanaticDomainExpert
Summary: There are some things you should know about Adam Hayes:1. He’s over MCR. Really.2. He makes his hot cocoa in a pot, because he’s not a fucking heathen,Caleb.3. He’s gotten pretty good at adapting to change lately, and rolling with the punches, but this? He does not know what to do with this.





	Adam Hayes's Boyfriend Is Not A Cat

There are some things you should know about Adam Hayes:   
1\. He’s over MCR. Really.   
2\. He makes his hot cocoa in a pot, because he’s not a fucking heathen,  _ Caleb. _   
3\. He’s gotten pretty good at adapting to change lately, and rolling with the punches, but this? He does not know what to do with this.

  
Adam stares at the cat.    
  
"How-what?"

 

The cat blinks at him from beneath his boyfriend’s pajamas. 

 

His boyfriend’s pajamas, which were previously on his boyfriend, who was previously lounging in bed before he disappeared... and was replaced...? By a cat?

 

Adam sets the mugs down on the desk before he does something stupid like drop it on the carpeted floor, and walks back out in search of his boyfriend who, by the look of it, either changed or is walking around with no clothes on. Which Adam is not opposed to, at  _ all _ , but. Maybe nudity isn’t the best choice in a cheap apartment during the dead of winter?

 

Adam grabs a jacket off the couch, just in case it  _ is _ the latter - unlikely, but not impossible - and heads towards the dining room. 

 

“Caleb, did you adopt a cat? Caleb?”

 

* * *

 

It’s been ten minutes, and. Um. So. He’s checked every room in their apartment, and his boyfriend is nowhere to be found. No note, no text, nothing giving him any clue to where his boyfriend might have gone or when he’ll be back - which is...well, unusual. Caleb’s typically really diligent about that. Huh.

 

Worry gnaws at his gut - probably just his anxiety rearing its ugly head, but it’s worry all the same. Adam knows he’s not Caleb’s keeper, and they both know each other’s boundaries, so Adam can’t begrudge him leaving unannounced. He just wishes he was given a heads up about it, y’know - Caleb usually does, and everything works out fine.

 

What is going on today? And, Adam takes a deep breath as he remembers what he found in lieu of his boyfriend, _ what _ is with this cat situation?

 

The cat situation, it appears, when Adam re-enters the bedroom, is at war with the corner of the comforter. 

 

Adam’s not as miffed as he’d thought he’d be, the way this day was going - at least the cat wasn’t ripping open new seams. The cat had chosen the corner where the seams were already coming undone - where Caleb sometimes picks at when he’s feeling stressed at night. 

 

Huh.

 

That Caleb...sometimes picks...at - no. Adam scoffs at himself. 

 

_ Adam. Don’t be dumb. Obviously, your boyfriend is not a cat. You would have noticed.  _

 

The cat has now given up the fight with the comforter, and has burrowed under the pillows. It gives a muffled meow, which he takes as agreement.

 

_ Alright Adam, think this through. The cat showed up in the time it took me to make the hot cocoa. So maybe, once I left the room, Caleb decides, hey! Now is a good time to surprise Adam with a cat. Nevermind the fact I would have definitely noticed a hidden cat, and Caleb’s not great at keeping secrets anyway.  _

 

Adam flops onto their bed in frustration, and the cat trembles before it-he? she? retreats farther under the pillow.

 

Ah, shit. He’s scared the cat. 

 

Well.

 

Fuck.

 

He still doesn’t know what happened that got the cat here, or where Caleb could have gone in the short time it took Adam to make their drinks, and he definitely does not want to entertain the thought that his once human boyfriend may now be a cat. So Adam does the only thing he can do.

 

He coos.

 

“Hey, beautiful. It’s okay. You’re okay. I scared you, didn’t I? I’m so sorry, baby.” He gingerly shifts his weight as he turns to lie on his stomach, one hand outstretched. “It’s okay now, the big human’s being careful.”

 

He inches slowly towards the pillow, doing a poor imitation of an army crawl.

 

“C’mon, sweetheart. I won’t hurt you, cat. Cat..leb. Ha! Oh my god. Caleb’s going to kill me for naming his cat form Catleb.”

 

Adam stops mid crawl to let his face plonk into the mattress, and tries to swallow the hysteria bubbling in his throat. What the fuck is happening right now? How did he get here? Why is he still associating this cat, who is a cat, to Caleb, who is clearly a human being that has not shown any shapeshifting tendencies in the decade that they’ve lived together? 

 

Or maybe he has, and Adam’s just been really unobservant. He doesn’t really know what to look for - after all, he’s only discovered his own spellcasting abilities a few months ago. Yeah. He’s not very good with the detecting-signs-of-magic stuff. Maybe Caleb could be the cat. It’s not completely out of the realm of possibility. Right?

 

Just as Adam raises his head to ask Catleb if it’s actually Caleb - because honestly, at this point? Even if his suspicions are wrong? He wouldn’t be surprised if Catleb the not-human cat could talk and understood the intricacies of human to animal shapeshifting - there’s a tumble, then a flash of light from beside the bed. 

 

Adam squints and thinks he sees an arm.

 

Well then.

 

Aborting his army crawl, Adam rolls off the bed and makes his way around to where the light was emitted.

 

Oh. Awww.

 

Caleb’s sound asleep, curled up in a fetal position.

 

That’s adorable.

 

Adam strategically places the discarded pajamas on top of his boyfriend and takes out his phone, because while Caleb is the love of his life, he’s also a menace who paid actual money to make a sweater out of Adam’s autocomplete typos. Turnabout is fair play.

 

Of course, once he has enough embarrassing pictures, Adam’s going to drag his boyfriend back to bed, pajamas and all, and they will sleep in. Even though it’s only ten in the morning, they’ve had quite a day - whether Caleb is shapeshifting or it’s something else entirely, being a cat really took a lot out of him. And Adam probably needs to clock out for a few more hours before his brain can fully process what the everloving fuck happened.

 

Just one more picture, though. 

 

Just.

 

One.

 

More.

**Author's Note:**

> So. That...happened.
> 
> This is 100% a crack fic, but I do have ideas for a TBS Magic!verse, so keep your ear to the ground if you want to read more about the shenanigans of novice spellcaster Adam Hayes! 
> 
> Also, I know I didn't resolve the question of _how _exactly Caleb turned into Catleb. I wanted to see how y'all liked this before I delved into the lore of it, so please comment and let me know if you want that to be a thing. In the meantime, I would love to hear some theories - the wilder, the better. It would make my day.__


End file.
